Trudy

Wed, 04 Aug 2004 22:42:45 GMT

Well today was a wonderful day. First my mom called me and told me she got tickets to clay aiken!!! yay so i will be seeing him on friday. Then Dustin called me and he's coming home!!!!!!!!!!!!! He should be home within the next week. Ahhhhhh i'm so happy. We should be in our apartment within the next 2 months. I'm soooooooooooooo excited!

Feeling Lucky

Wed, 14 Jul 2004 21:06:52 GMT

Well ya know how they say that when a lady bug lands on you it brings good luck? Well I've had 3 land on me in the past week! I work at a camp and last Friday the first one landed on me there. Then Saturday night i was just sitting on my couch and out of no where a lady bug drops from the ceiling and lands on me. Then today at camp a lady bug was flying around, bounced off of two people and lands on me! Is that a bit strange or is it me?! Well the good luck seems to be starting. After calling all over, Dustin finally found a hotel last night. So I will be driving down to Fort Dix on Saturday and will get to spend the night with him! I can't wait. He's been pretty down lately so he needs some cheering up. Also there was a huge storm at camp today towards the end of the day. I kept hoping it would let up for me to drive home, since it really freaks me out to drive when its down pouring. Well about 5 minutes before I left it stopped. I made it home, and it seems the storm was moving this way because 10 minutes after I walked in the door it started down pouring again. I hope my luck continues....Hope everyone is doing well

Trudy

lonely

Wed, 16 Jun 2004 06:13:02 GMT

i'm drunk..i'm sad...and i'm so very lonely...i dont remember the last time i felt so alone...i just want this feeling to go away...it hurt s so very bad...i just want tis pain to go away...dusitn i miss u so much...so very much.

depressed..

Mon, 14 Jun 2004 20:41:55 GMT

I'm sitting here missing Dustin so much. Yesterday I went up to see him at Fort Dix. My friend Brian took me. We got a little lost. When we finally got there we couldn't the right gate. Meanwhile Dustin was waiting for us at this one building. The last bus came and we still weren't there so he had to get on the bus so he didn't get in trouble. In the end I didn't see him. I was crushed and so was he. We're gonna try again next Sunday. Each day I realize more and more how madly in love with him I am. I just keep dreaming of the day this is all over and I am waiting at the airport for him. The way it looks he will be home around Christmas of 2005.
Last night on the phone we had a long talk. He made me feel so good. He referred to me over and over again as his "beautiful girlfriend" He said he missed holding me at night and that when he's home for 4th of july weekend he's not gonna let me go for 4 days. He said the other day he was listening to the song "Take My Breath Away" and was daydreaming about us getting married. He told me that he too has never felt this strongly about any one before and that he knows that I'm the one for him.
I just miss him so much. It's only one week. I know that when he's actually in Iraq I won't get to talk to him nearly as much and wont see him for 12 or more months straight, but it will be different. I'll have to be in a different mind frame to get through it. Anyway I could ramble about Dustin and I forever, but I guess I'm gonna get goin for now....

My baby leaves tomorrow :(

Sun, 06 Jun 2004 19:02:14 GMT

I like this...

The average military girlfriend is age 20. She is strong, fierce, and brave, and under normal circumstances to society is considered not a girl, but not yet a woman. They work hard and keep busy, but would rather be with their Soldier.

She’s a recent high school graduate. Usually starting college, or finishing her first year. She was probably very active in her school activities, and remembers the day her Soldier said he was leaving. She remembers how she swore to be waiting when he returned from half a world away. She listens to lots of love songs, and occasionally country music. She may be 10 or 15 pounds lighter, and look very tired, because she lies awake at night worrying about her man.

She gets writer’s cramp from writing so often. Her words promising what she swore when he left. She acts happy on the outside, but her heart aches on the inside. She knows more about machine guns and grenade launchers than an average 20 year old woman would know.

She is self sufficient, compassionate and brave. She usually sleeps in one of the two shirts of his she owns, alternating days. She has learned to live without the money he may have lent her before, and spends what little she has to send him care packages filled with things he needs. She can usually ease her own pain, because most of her friends could not begin to understand.

She is proud of her man. Even though she knows he saves lives, but could also take them. She understands though, that it is his job. And she has heard of more suffering and death then she wants to. She weeps with him when there is a fallen Soldier, and always stands proud with tears in her eyes during the National Anthem. She scorns at those who disrespect the flag and National Anthem, because her Soldier is a world away, ironically fighting for their right to be disrespectful.

She fights a war too. Day in and day out, dealing with comments from others regarding the troops or even the war. She stands by her man, and is always willing to speak up when someone is disrespecting troops, even if everyone in the room is against what she has to say. And she asks nothing of her Soldier when he returns, for she does not feel he owes her for all the time he missed, but rather, thinks of it as a privilege.
© Crista 2004

Update

Mon, 03 May 2004 18:33:39 GMT

Well it's been a very long time since I've updated so I figured it's about time to do so. Alot has happened. Dustin is in the National Guard and we've known for a while that he could get the horrible call saying he's getting sent away. But I just never thought it would happen. I was wrong. Two weeks ago they called him. He will be getting sent to Fort Dix in the beginning of June for 3 months of training. After that he is getting sent to Iraq for 12 months. For the first 3 months I should still be able to see him on weekends. But after that I won't see him for a very long time. I'm so scared. Right now although I will miss him so very much, that's really not my main conern. My main concern is his safety. I just want him to come back to me safely. I love him so much. He has made me realize that I have never really been in love before. Although I thought I loved Jason, I don't think I ever really did. I never felt this way before. Dustin means the world to me. Through all of this he has finally realized just how much he loves me as well. When he gets back we're going to get an apartment together till we finish school. Then we're gonna eventually get married and get a house. I can't wait. I can't wait to go to sleep with him every night and wake with him every morning. Anyway I gotta get studyin for finals...but when he does get sent away, I'm just asking for eveyone to keep him in your prayers. Thanks.

Update

Fri, 19 Mar 2004 01:41:55 GMT

Wow I havn't updated in almost a month! A lot has actually happened since then. Let's see...for starters Dustin decided "he wasn't sure what he wanted." We decided to take a break, but we were having problems at my house and I ended up asking if I could come stay at his house 2 days later. I went there a bit drunk after I left a strip club and spent the night. The next day he had magically made up his mind and decided he wanted to be with me. I think it was all kinda my fault. I think I may have been moving a bit too fast for him. I care about him so much and like to talk about the future. As with most guys that scared the hell out of him. But in the end it worked out and we're back together :-) I would have been so crushed if he really wanted to end things. He means so much to me.

Dustin got his motorcycle. So last weekend I got to ride on it. Sooooo much fun!!

In other news...the night I went to the strip club I got my first lap dance. I didn't pay! A friend bought it for me. It was ehh interesting. All in all the strip club is a good time.

And in bigger news...my sister had her baby!!!! She had a baby girl named Marissa Rose. She is beautiful. She weighed 8 pounds 1 once and was 20 inches long. She was born March 12 at 9:20 AM. March 12 was also 3 months for Dustin and I.

Also I have an interview next Thursday for 48 hour video/tanning. Seems like the job wouldn't be bad. Plus free movie rentals and hopfully a deal on tanning!

I guess I gotta get to studying...have a test in the morning. It's supposed to snow a lot tonight. I really hope it doesn't. My car is awful in the snow and I don't wanna be stuck here tomorrow night. I was hoping to go to P'burg to drink sa few beers with some friends. Sigh..hope it works out

Mon, 23 Feb 2004 19:52:35 GMT

What Porn Starlet are you? Take the quiz @ 5tarla.net

Thu, 19 Feb 2004 16:41:37 GMT

You are one of the few out there whose wings are
truly ANGELIC. Selfless, powerful, and
divine, you are one blessed with a certain
cosmic grace. You are unequalled in
peacefulness, love, and beauty. As a Being of
Light your wings are massive and a soft white
or silver. Countless feathers grace them and
radiate the light within you for all the world
to see. You are a defender, protector, and
caretaker. Comforter of the weak and forgiver
of the wrong, chances are you are taken
advantage of once in awhile, maybe quite often.
But your innocence and wisdom sees the good in
everyone and so this mistreatment does not make
you colder. Merciful to the extreme, you will
try to help misguided souls find themselves and
peace. However not all Angelics allow
themselves to be gotten the better of - the
Seraphim for example will be driven to fighting
for the sake of Justice and protection of those
less powerful. Congratulations - and don't ever
change - the world needs more people like you.

*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

Mon, 16 Feb 2004 15:58:16 GMT

What will your Funeral be like? by rashock
Username
You will die by:	You always were kinky in your sex life and took it just a bit to far. You died over doing breath control, blood play, or some other strange kink.
Death Date:	October 10, 2063
Number attending your funeral?	40
How much will you leave to friends and family?	$3,970,686

Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

Oops

Mon, 16 Feb 2004 03:25:23 GMT

Well Dustin drove me back to school today before driving 2 and half hours back to his school. I was on the phone with him most of the time while he was driving back. When he was about an hour and 45 min away from my school we realized that I left my bag with alllll of my school books in his car! I started crying and freaking out. I didn't know what the hell I was gonna do. He would have turned around but he didnt have any gas or money for gas. I called Tuma and he is going to take me all the way to Dustin's school tomorrow. What a great friend. He would do anything for me. I love that guy. So this means that I wont get back home tomorrow night until after 8. I have a Spanish test Tues morning so I will be up all night studying. I also have a lot of homeowrk due Tues for my night class which means I will spend all of my break time from 2-6 doing that. When I finally get home from night class at 9:45 I will spend all night studying for my big psych exam on Wed. I have a paper due Thurs so I will be spending all of Wednesday after classes doing that. I'm so stressed. I just want this week to be over with. Right now I just really feel like I can't do it. I just don't know how I'm gonna get everything done. I need to get good grades this semester. Well, tonight is the only night I will be able to get a decent nights sleep. So I might as well take advantage of it....

Cant wait for the weekend!

Wed, 11 Feb 2004 22:21:33 GMT

Well I'm actually in a pretty good mood. I got a 96 on my Spanish test so that makes me happy. I get my philosophy paper back tomorrow. Hope I did well. Dustin got into an accident last week. He's getting a check for 3500 for the damage. But it's only gonna cost him 500 to fix it himself. So that means a little extra money in his bank account. This weekend is Valentines weekend. I'm excited. We're going to Red Lobster on Friday and snow tubing on Saturday. That should be fun. I miss him so much. I can't wait to spend the weekend with him. I have a feeling this summer is gonna be great. I have a wonderful boyfriend, I'm gonna be working at the camp again, what more could I ask for? Dustin and I are gonna be doing a lot. We want to go to Ocean City for a week. We're also gonna take a trip to North and South Carolina to visit my family. And we wanna go to Ceasers in the poconoes for a weekend. He gets his motorcycle soon. He's excited. Next summer we're hoping to go to Disney World. That would be so much fun. We also wanna go to Cancun for spring break next year. Yes this means I need to start working. And soon! Next fall I don't think I'm gonna be living here. It's so expensive. When you break it down, it would probably be cheaper to get an apartment somewhere. Dustin and I are talking about getting a place together, but I'm not sure if thats gonna work out since he goes to school 2 and a half hours away from me. We'll see.

Aside from that I had a pretty good weekend last weekend. I hung out with some friends I havn't seen in a while. It was great hanging out with Brian again. I miss him. It was also so nice to see Tuma. I saw Kristin as well on Friday night. I love that girl so much. I wish her boyfriend treated her better.

Spring break is coming up soon. In about 3 weeks I believe. The first half I"m gonna be at Dustin's. The second half of it we will be at my house. Theres a few friends I really wanna see over break. I want to make sure I see Amanda, Missy, and my cousin Amy. I'd also like to get together wiht Brian and Tanya. There was this place that Tanya took me once where you get a whole lobster and clams for cheap. Brian and I were talking about askin her where it is and we can all go. Yummm lobster....I can't wait until Friday lol.

Well I think I've been going on and on for long enough. Just one last thing....next Sunday is my birthday!!!! yay finally be 20 lol. That means only one more year until I'm 21...

Wed, 11 Feb 2004 16:17:55 GMT

heres a riddle our profesor gave us in class:

So theres a father and son who get into a car accident. The father is killed and the son is critically injured. The son is rushed to the hosipital and taken directly to the operating room. The surgeon comes out and says, "I can't operate on him he's my son!"

How is this possible?

Rain Rain Go Away

Fri, 06 Feb 2004 19:43:06 GMT

Well Dustin came over yesterday and I got to spend the day with him which made me really happy. He slept over and I ended up missing class this morning... o well...i couldnt get up....when i'm layin in bed with him it's too hard. it's ok though cause I can miss Spanish class 4 times before it hurts my grade. But then he calls me like and hour after he left and told me he got into an accident. fuckin asshole slammed into the front of him. now i started freakin out cause he doesnt have a license right now...or insurance. but i guess they didnt call the cops...dustin just went home and he's gonna pay for everything himself. The reason he doesnt have a license isn't even his fault. he had a traffic ticket. and he had moved in with a friend. well the court date got sent to his old house... so he missed court and lost his license for 3 months. blah... he doesnt deserve this. i cant wait till its all over. i cant wait until this summer so i can be with him more...i cant wait until we're both done with school. i wish their was a way i could live with him next semester, but he goes to school to far away...booo i'm rambeling....ta ta for now

Wed, 04 Feb 2004 23:26:56 GMT

Is certainty necessary in order to makee the claim that one knows something?

That is my question for my philosophy paper due tomorrow....just wondered what other people thought....

losing it

Tue, 03 Feb 2004 00:22:20 GMT

I'm so drained right now. I have no money and can't find a job. I have so much homework to do and feel like I don't have enough time to do it even though I do. I'm just too damn lazy all the time that I put everything off until the last minute. My parents are getting divorced. My dad treats my mom like shit and she's finally doing something about it. My dad is gonna end up getting the house and my mom will end up in some tiny apartment. I'm closer to my mom, but my room is at my house. It makes me wonder where I will go for breaks...and for summmer for that matter. My boyfriend is what keeps me going. When I'm with him everything feels like its gonna be ok. But he goes to school 2 and a half hours away. So I only see him on weekends. Sometimes I just wanna run away from everything. I don't wanna be in school. But without school I'll never get a good job so I don't have much of a choice right now. I'm gonna be paying off my student loans forever. I just wanna be done. I wanna be done with school. I wanna have a good job. I wanna be married. Sometimes I really think that Dustin could be the person I spend the rest of my life with. But I know that most people would say that we havn't really been together long enough for me to say that. So instead I'll just say I hope that in the end he will be mine forever. I dream of the day I can wake up beside him every single day. I dream of having children. I want the story book life I really do. And I see all of that with him. Blah now that I'm gettin all mushy I'm gonna stop.
Aside from that I feel alone sometimes. I know I have a great boyfriend who is always there for me. And I know my family is always there for me. But sometimes it feels like I don't have any true friends. Like I have nobody that would be there for me. I don't feel close to any of my friends. I feel that we have all grown apart. Jason was my best friend for the past 4 years. Well almost 5 now. Since I was 15 Jason was the person I turned to. He always gave me the best advice and had a way to make me feel better. I miss him. I wish that we could be friends. I know he says that he can be friends with me, but I don't know if he really can. Thhe last thing I wanna do is hurt him more than I already have. I want more than anything for him to find a girl that will make him happy. I hope that when he gets out of jail or work study whatever...I hope he really keeps himself out of trouble and gets on the right path. He is very smart and talented in may ways. He has so much potential.
Anyway I don't know how I got from no money and my parents to talking about Jason. But I guess I should try to get some work done. It's amazing how much better you feel after writing in this thing. Its such a great way to get everything off your chest. You don't have to wait for someone to say anything. And even if nobody reads this, you still have a way to get everything out....

Mon, 02 Feb 2004 18:49:12 GMT

Well I had a pretty good weekend. Dustin picked up on Friday. We were supposed to go to a hockey game at 7. I didn't really wanna go because I had never met the people he was going with, and the way he described them they didn't sound like people who I would get along with anyway. Well I lucked out. Dustin's roomate Matt called and ivited us to go to the Grill which is this bar/restaurant place that they go every friday. So we ended up doing that instead. We went with Matt, Abby (matts girl), Mike, Suzy (Mikes girl), and Suzy's daughter. Mike and Susy are really nice people. This was the frst time I had met Beth, but she was really fun to chill with. After dinner everyone came back to Dustin and Matts to drink a few beers with us. Ryan, Derek, and Nate also came over. Mike brought his pitbull Holly with him. Matt and Dustin also have a pitbull (Beamer). The dogs were hilarious. Dustin and I went to bed at around 1 and I was feeling a bit tipsy. hehe.

Saturday was a pretty lazy day. Dustin and I didn't really do much at all. Abby was going to a party at her friends, and Matt went to this bar to see Mikes cousin play. Dustin and I just watched movies and headed to bed around 12. At around 2 I head someone banging on the door. I was trying to wake Dustin up but he wasn't wakin up. Then the doors opened and I heard Beth SCREAMING "Trudy Trudy you told me to come party with you...I"m hereeee wake up!" I guess Matt, Mike, Nate, Beth, and a few others went to the bar to see Mikes cousin and all decided to come back to Matts. They were all trashed. So anyway theres this girl Tish who Dustin has always told me about. He said she is loud and just a total bitch. She also feels the need to get extreamely trashed every time she drinks. Well she came running upstairs. Her and Beth barged into Dustin's room. We weren't wearing clothes so we were holding hte blankets up. Well Tish gets up on Dustin and starts riding him say "o you know you want this shit" My mouth dropped. Beth is tryin to tell me not to worry about it. i guess tish always does this. Then she tries takin the blankets off of us. finally beth got her downstairs so we could get dressed. So we get up go downstairs and start drinkin at 2:30. Matt went to pick Abby up a little bit later. She came back all drunk along with Erika, and about 5 other people. Tish was fallin all over the place. Her and Abby were kissing. Dustin's stepdad came over after the bar. i guess matt invited him. He was so drunk as well. he ended up leaving and pickin up 3 other chicks from the bar. it was nuts. anway dustin and i finally went to bed around 5. i guess everyone else partied till 8am.

sunday watched the superbowel. and came back to school this morning...sooo much homework to do...

STRESSED

Thu, 29 Jan 2004 21:22:39 GMT

Today has been a pretty awful day. For starters I think I am getting sick. sigh.. I also had so much to do today with classes. I also had a Spanish test. I got a 78. Wish I had done better. I'll just have to study more for the next one. Anyway once I got back from classes I called my mother. She informed me that collection agencies have been calling my house non stop. I may be getting taken to court for my Capital One bill. It's for 650 bucks. I just don't have any money right now. They want 50 bucks a month for 3 months and they said they would take off a lot of my interest and stuff. I won't have that kinda of money until May when I start working. I'm trying to get a job right now, but with my car problems its not very easy. Also all the on campus jobs are taken. I don't know what to do....

My dad is helping me with my Dell bill, and my mom is going to pay 15 dollars a month on my Express bill. I just need to find a way to take care of the payments for this Capital One bill. I don't wanna go to court :{

Anyway..I need to get going on my homework...

going to Dustin's for the weekend....thats the only thing keepin me slightly happy.

no more smoking for me....

Wed, 28 Jan 2004 23:23:49 GMT

Well since summer will be here soo soon, I have decided that I need to lose a few pounds. After 20 minutes of cardio I could not breathe. Not at all. My chest hurt so bad and my lungs were so tight. I am so out of shape. Now it's not only that I wanna lose weight, but I also need to get myself healthy. I'm 19 years old, I should sure as hell be able to do cardio for more than 20 minutes. So, I will no longer be a smoker. The main reason why I could never quit before was because of how much I drank.. Since I don't drink to get drunk drunk anymore, I should have an easier time. Wish me luck.....

what to do what to do.....

Wed, 28 Jan 2004 23:08:59 GMT

Well I havn't written in this this since the first day I started it. I decided to start up again and keep it updated.
wow so much has happened since Novembem...but the major thing is I have a new guy in my life. His name is Dustin and he is the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. He is everything I was looking for and so much more. I'm so happy. Only problem about him is it seems that at times he tends to be a bit controlling. But I'm hoping we can get through that. In fact we got into a huge fight the other day because I am thinking about rushing for a sorority. He told me that he would break up with me if i did it. We actually broke up for a bit yesterday, but he ended up changing his mind and decided that we should stay together. Rush begins this weekend. If I want to go through with it I have to go to the orientation meeting tonight. I can't decide what to do. I have decided though that I am mostly likely not going to go. BUT Dustin has made plans for this weekend. So, if he can't spend the weekend with me anyway, I guess I might as well rush. He is calling me back in 15 minutes to let me know. Sigh... I don't know why this decision has been so hard for me. One minute I feel like I really wanna do it, and the next I can't decide. So, when Dustin calls me back I guess that will be the deciding factor.....

night at lehigh

Sun, 16 Nov 2003 20:08:32 GMT

well i was determined to make it to lehigh last night...
i couldn't get anyone to go wit me because sara had to work, kristin was hangin out wit her sister, shawnna had the baby, stacy went to the bar wit her boyfriend and so on. so just when i was about to give up on goin angelo called me. the first thing i said to him was hey i wanna go to lehigh! he was like "holla" i'm at lehigh. i told him i needed a ride so he called his boy and had him come get me. wow was that guy weird. he picked me up and seriously took 45 min to drive from here to lehigh. now keep in mind that lehigh is 10 minutes away!! anyway i finally got there and as soon as i walked in i saw obey. i love that boy. he's so much fun. angelo had gone out so he wasnt there at first. i felt really uncomfortable for a bit because i didnt know anyone but obey....and since obey is mr social he was wonderin. there was this one guy there who was soooooo drunk. in his drunkeness he decided that it would be a good idea to funnel pink lemonade and everclear. he then decided that it was also a good idea to chug the everclear directly from the bottle. let me tell you i have never seen anyone as wasted as he was. in the end he had to go to the hospital. it was so scary seeing him being carried through the house like that. he was sweating so bad and just out of it. i really think he could have died if he wasnt taken to the hospital. anyway after that episode the night was pretty good. i was dancing a lot. mainly with obey lol. but then while we were dancing he picked me up and started like humpin me in the air while dancing. and of course i was drunk so i went along with it. but man looking back now i feel so embarrased....like i really make myself look like a slut sometimes while drunk. but o well...i dont know any of those people so whatever lol. i also met this guy alex at the party. he was a cute and really nice. as for angelo...i think he kinda digs me. he is cute but not really my type at all. but i have so much fun with him. i danced wit him a bit too hehe. anyway at 1am i decided i wanted to go to this guy chris's house. he goes to lehigh as well. i called him and he came and got me. this was the first time i had met him in person. we went back to his house and watched a movie....then pretty much just passed out....i kinda wanted sex but i'm tryin not to sleep wit anyone till i'm in a relationship. so we just kissed and thats as far as it went. i just got home from there a few minutes ago. we layed in bed all day. he's cute and really nice but he's the kinda guy that doesnt want a relationship. he just wants "fuck buddies" and thats not me.
ugh i'm gettin really dizzy and i'm still so tired so i think i need a nap. nite :-)